So I haven't been writing much lately. At least not much longer than 144 characters; if you follow me on Twitter, you've no doubt found that I am quite prolific over there. I do think that as I became more active on Facebook and Twitter my need to blog about my life shrank to almost nothing; cute stories about the kids which I used to blog now go on Facebook; pithy quotes (again from the kids, for the most part) go on Twitter. Random updates about myself and my life can be found both places. And then divorce process finished killing what had been already dying slowly; there was so much I couldn't talk about no matter how desperately I wanted or needed to.
I tried focused blogging, for a bit, experimenting with a crochet blog, a tango blog, even a "look at this ridiculous shit"-type blog that people keep getting book deals for. I'm no Cake Wrecks or Regretsy, however (although I AM in the Regretsy book, so booyah) and no book deals fell out of the sky for me. I also had difficulty keeping on topic, since I'm a bit "ooh shiny!" when it comes to my writing style. So I established this site without really knowing what I'd do with it, since I can't just, you know, NOT have a web presence or a place to write things down when the mood does strike, which is still does once in a while, but I'm still trying to figure out how that presence will manifest itself. I have a few ideas, which I am presenting for your consideration. If anyone is actually reading.
1) Twitter, but more so
I've thought about taking me tweets and expanding on the more interesting/funny/popular ones. The main idea is already there and written, so it's a bit of a time-saver. This seems a little self-indulgent, however.
2) Single-parent blogging.
There are a lot of "mommy" blogs out there. Mine was one of them, for a long time. I don't know if there are a a lot of single-mom blogs. My guess is most single moms, including myself, are too freaking busy and tired to write about how freaking busy and tired we are. We also face a lot of challenges 2-parent families don't have to deal with, and considering how many single-parent families there are out there, I do think we are rather underrepresented in the blogosphere.
3) Dating, with children
An offshoot of the single-parent thing is trying to restore some sort of social life to one's schedule after a divorce. We're still human beings with the need for adult interaction, adult beverages, and adult activities, and this can be quite difficult to manage, as I am discovering. It can also be fun. And heartbreaking and frustrating and all the things regular dating (pre-children) was, but more so.
4) Crochet, with patterns
I'm not sure about this. I love to make stuff. I love that people are starting to actually buy stuff I make. I don't know about pattern-writing, which is harder than it seems, I've discovered; I don't know if anyone would pay me for my patterns.
5) Contract blogging
There are a few aggregate sites which hire bloggers for specific gigs, or for certain topics. I've thought about chucking my own site altogether and trying for a gig like that. However, I don't know how to write a pitch and I have no idea how to go about getting it together for something like that. It would be nice to get even nominal pay for this stuff, though, I mean really.
And again, I just don't know if I can stick with a focused format, or if I'll eventually do what I always do and either wander off, or go back to writing about whatever pops into my head.
16 August 2010
16 July 2010
These conversations always happen in the car, for some reason.
Scene: We're in the car, on the way to daycare. For some reason I don't really recall, we are talking about babies.
Mimi: I was a baby in China.
Boo: I was a baby and I grew in Mommy's tummy!
Me: Not in my tummy, in my uterus. We talked about how there is a special place in your body just for babies to grow. [Note: I hate the "tummy" thing. It's factually incorrect, and then there's the confusion with how the baby GOT in the tummy. Did you SWALLOW it?]
Mimi: Yeah! And then the baby comes out your VAGINA! [Note: We had just talked about this a couple of days before, after Mimi informed the babysitter that "Babies come out your butt!!!" Again, precision is important.]
Boo: Ewwwwwwww!
Mimi: Yeah! There's a hole the baby comes out of! [Pause] Mom, when I grow up ... [longer pause] You know what? I changed my mind. I don't want to grow up anymore.
Me [stifling laughter]: Well, you will grow up. But just because you get to be an adult, doesn't mean you have to have kids. Some people choose to have kids, and some choose not to. And some people adopt.
Mimi: Like me! You adopted me!
Me: Right! And some people, like our friends Kate and Deb, chose not to have children at all.
Mimi [indignantly]: BUT THEY HAVE US!
Boo: YEAH! US!
Me: Well, yes. And they like to come over and play with you and then go home. They are friends, not parents. So maybe you will choose to have a baby that grows in you, and maybe you will choose to adopt, or maybe you will choose not to be a mom at all. Those are all good choices.
Mimi: I want to have kids. As friends. Can we listen to the Chipmunks now?
Mimi: I was a baby in China.
Boo: I was a baby and I grew in Mommy's tummy!
Me: Not in my tummy, in my uterus. We talked about how there is a special place in your body just for babies to grow. [Note: I hate the "tummy" thing. It's factually incorrect, and then there's the confusion with how the baby GOT in the tummy. Did you SWALLOW it?]
Mimi: Yeah! And then the baby comes out your VAGINA! [Note: We had just talked about this a couple of days before, after Mimi informed the babysitter that "Babies come out your butt!!!" Again, precision is important.]
Boo: Ewwwwwwww!
Mimi: Yeah! There's a hole the baby comes out of! [Pause] Mom, when I grow up ... [longer pause] You know what? I changed my mind. I don't want to grow up anymore.
Me [stifling laughter]: Well, you will grow up. But just because you get to be an adult, doesn't mean you have to have kids. Some people choose to have kids, and some choose not to. And some people adopt.
Mimi: Like me! You adopted me!
Me: Right! And some people, like our friends Kate and Deb, chose not to have children at all.
Mimi [indignantly]: BUT THEY HAVE US!
Boo: YEAH! US!
Me: Well, yes. And they like to come over and play with you and then go home. They are friends, not parents. So maybe you will choose to have a baby that grows in you, and maybe you will choose to adopt, or maybe you will choose not to be a mom at all. Those are all good choices.
Mimi: I want to have kids. As friends. Can we listen to the Chipmunks now?
24 June 2010
not quite the Amazing Race, although a million dollars at the end of all of this would be nice
If you follow me on Twitter at all (@jen_talley) you may have noticed that I have been on the road for nearly the past two weeks on what I have been thinking of as my multi-city librarian-extraordinaire Eastern Seaboard extravaganza. I had two professional obligations in a row, one at the University of Virginia last week and one in Philadelphia this week. I am currently sitting at the Philadelphia Amtrak station waiting on a train that doesn't leave for another two hours; I could have done some lunch-type stuff with my colleagues at the conference, but at this point I am so tired of hauling around an insanely heave suitcase (hereafter the IHS), various totebags, a backpack, and a camera bag that I came directly here after the morning's sessions and am happy to just be sitting.
Since I was on this multi-city journey it seemed like a good idea to take the train. Flying would have been prohibitively expensive, even with the university covering a great deal of the travel costs, and would have necessitated checking the aforementioned insanely heavy suitcase and paying probably the overweight penalty as well as the bag-check fee, as well as dealing with various taxis and switching to trains or renting a car. Instead I plotted a course that went like this: Ann Arbor-Chicago-Charlottesville. Charlottesville-Washington D.C. D.C.-Philadelphia. Philadelphia-Pittsburgh-Toledo-Ann Arbor.
So I left Ann Arbor on the Saturday around lunchtime and headed five hours in utterly the wrong direction to Chicago. Two hours in the Chicago train station and then boarded the Cardinal for Charlottesville, a bizarre route that takes one across Indiana, along the Ohio-Kentucky border, through West Virginia and northwest Virginia before dropping one in Charlottesville and then continuing on to Washington D.C., Baltimore, Philadelphia, and finishing up in New York City. And this 30-hour plus extravaganza is considered a direct connection between Chicago and NYC. Really.
This should have taken about 20 hours and gotten me into Charlottesville midday on Sunday, but overnight we lost massive time due to apparently storms, and scheduling issues, and freight trains getting priority on rural West Virginia tracks, and when I woke up Sunday morning (not that I really slept much overnight, but I dozed off and on) we were still in West Virginia. And at lunchtime, we were still in West Virginia. I think we made it nearly to Staunton VA by dinner time and were finally deposited in Charlottesville around 7:30 pm Sunday night. By the time I gathered my bags, got a taxi, got over to Conference Services for my room key, had the taxi take me over to my Lawn room, and hauled everything across the Lawn into the room, it was nearly 9 pm. The wine-and-cheese opening reception which I was so looking forward to (and really, at this point, how badly did I need the wine?) was long over; I opened the window, closed the screen doors, pulled the bed out to the middle of the room under the ceiling fan, and collapsed.
So then there was a week of easily the best, most intimidating, exhilarating, inspiring professional experience of my life. It might be hard for people outside the profession/obsession to get how obscure points of bibliography can be exhilarating, so you'll just have to trust me on this. Or judge me and think I'm a complete nerd, but this is also true. My class finished up on Friday afternoon; I met up with a TARflies friend for Friday evening (we had frozen yogurt, which was awesome, and went to Target, which is always awesome) and then stayed up very late Friday night into the wee hours of Saturday morning drinking wine on the Lawn and talking with classmates/colleagues/new friends. Four hours later I got up, repacked the IHS, and got back on the train to head up to D.C. Stayed with another TARflies friend there and did touristy and/or relaxing stuff until Monday (Archives, American History, Toy Story 3, catching up on Dr Who and True Blood at her place, Air and Space, Lincoln Memorial, etc.) I got a ridiculous sunburn wandering around on my own on Monday, because I am an idiot and because it was REALLY HOT AND SUNNY, and headed out once again on Tuesday morning for Philadelphia. Except really, Wilmington, because I met Natalie there for the afternoon and we proceeded to hang out and talk and have a really good lunch and wander around her wonderful local yarn store, after which she drove me to Philadelphia and I plopped my insanely heavy suitcase into yet another dorm room, scrounged dinner at a 7-11, and collapsed again. Wednesday was spent being all professional and stuff again, and then dinner with yet another TARfly (we're EVERYWHERE) at a nifty restaurant called El Vez where I had a very yummy blood orange margarita and a crazy amount of chips, guac, and various other corn-based based food products. This morning it was back to professionality (oh, whatever, it's a word), along with the repacking and hauling of the IHS, navigating the Philly subway, and finally ending up here, now, at the train station with a couple of hours to spare. Seven hours today on the train to Pittsburgh, overnight to Toledo, and then from Toledo to Ann Arbor, a bus, and I will finally be home sometime tomorrow morning. Laden with books, papers, and other professional conference detritus, souvenirs for the kids, two more totebags than I started out with, lots of dirty clothes, a sunburn, and a completely exhausted, burned-out brain. And likely, immediately upon arrival, two small girls whom I have missed as desperately as I needed a break from them when I began this trek.
Holy cow, I'm tired.
Since I was on this multi-city journey it seemed like a good idea to take the train. Flying would have been prohibitively expensive, even with the university covering a great deal of the travel costs, and would have necessitated checking the aforementioned insanely heavy suitcase and paying probably the overweight penalty as well as the bag-check fee, as well as dealing with various taxis and switching to trains or renting a car. Instead I plotted a course that went like this: Ann Arbor-Chicago-Charlottesville. Charlottesville-Washington D.C. D.C.-Philadelphia. Philadelphia-Pittsburgh-Toledo-Ann Arbor.
So I left Ann Arbor on the Saturday around lunchtime and headed five hours in utterly the wrong direction to Chicago. Two hours in the Chicago train station and then boarded the Cardinal for Charlottesville, a bizarre route that takes one across Indiana, along the Ohio-Kentucky border, through West Virginia and northwest Virginia before dropping one in Charlottesville and then continuing on to Washington D.C., Baltimore, Philadelphia, and finishing up in New York City. And this 30-hour plus extravaganza is considered a direct connection between Chicago and NYC. Really.
This should have taken about 20 hours and gotten me into Charlottesville midday on Sunday, but overnight we lost massive time due to apparently storms, and scheduling issues, and freight trains getting priority on rural West Virginia tracks, and when I woke up Sunday morning (not that I really slept much overnight, but I dozed off and on) we were still in West Virginia. And at lunchtime, we were still in West Virginia. I think we made it nearly to Staunton VA by dinner time and were finally deposited in Charlottesville around 7:30 pm Sunday night. By the time I gathered my bags, got a taxi, got over to Conference Services for my room key, had the taxi take me over to my Lawn room, and hauled everything across the Lawn into the room, it was nearly 9 pm. The wine-and-cheese opening reception which I was so looking forward to (and really, at this point, how badly did I need the wine?) was long over; I opened the window, closed the screen doors, pulled the bed out to the middle of the room under the ceiling fan, and collapsed.
So then there was a week of easily the best, most intimidating, exhilarating, inspiring professional experience of my life. It might be hard for people outside the profession/obsession to get how obscure points of bibliography can be exhilarating, so you'll just have to trust me on this. Or judge me and think I'm a complete nerd, but this is also true. My class finished up on Friday afternoon; I met up with a TARflies friend for Friday evening (we had frozen yogurt, which was awesome, and went to Target, which is always awesome) and then stayed up very late Friday night into the wee hours of Saturday morning drinking wine on the Lawn and talking with classmates/colleagues/new friends. Four hours later I got up, repacked the IHS, and got back on the train to head up to D.C. Stayed with another TARflies friend there and did touristy and/or relaxing stuff until Monday (Archives, American History, Toy Story 3, catching up on Dr Who and True Blood at her place, Air and Space, Lincoln Memorial, etc.) I got a ridiculous sunburn wandering around on my own on Monday, because I am an idiot and because it was REALLY HOT AND SUNNY, and headed out once again on Tuesday morning for Philadelphia. Except really, Wilmington, because I met Natalie there for the afternoon and we proceeded to hang out and talk and have a really good lunch and wander around her wonderful local yarn store, after which she drove me to Philadelphia and I plopped my insanely heavy suitcase into yet another dorm room, scrounged dinner at a 7-11, and collapsed again. Wednesday was spent being all professional and stuff again, and then dinner with yet another TARfly (we're EVERYWHERE) at a nifty restaurant called El Vez where I had a very yummy blood orange margarita and a crazy amount of chips, guac, and various other corn-based based food products. This morning it was back to professionality (oh, whatever, it's a word), along with the repacking and hauling of the IHS, navigating the Philly subway, and finally ending up here, now, at the train station with a couple of hours to spare. Seven hours today on the train to Pittsburgh, overnight to Toledo, and then from Toledo to Ann Arbor, a bus, and I will finally be home sometime tomorrow morning. Laden with books, papers, and other professional conference detritus, souvenirs for the kids, two more totebags than I started out with, lots of dirty clothes, a sunburn, and a completely exhausted, burned-out brain. And likely, immediately upon arrival, two small girls whom I have missed as desperately as I needed a break from them when I began this trek.
Holy cow, I'm tired.
04 May 2010
Hail to the Chief
So, Saturday, I went to see the President.
Obama's speech at University of Michigan Commencement
Rather than trying to recap the experience now in some kind of coherent textural fashion, I'm going to paste in my stream-of-consciousness tweets from the day, with commentary.
6:40 am
It's pouring rain, thunder and lightning. Oh yay.
(My alarm went off at 6:30, but I'd woken up already to the incredibly loud thunder. Debating whether to go sit in a giant metal box in the middle of an electrical storm was worth the chance of seeing the President. Maybe not.)
6:45 am
If I were a narrow-minded conservative religious nut, I'd say that God doesn't approve of Obama giving the U-M commencement speech.
(As thunder and lightning continue, and the rain comes pouring down, and I haven't showered yet because when I was a kid my mom made me terrified of taking a shower during a thunderstorm.)
7:18 am
Ok, i know it's pouring and all, but why are there actual DUCKS in my front yard?
(This has nothing to do with commencement, but there were, and I thought it was funny. I do NOT live near a pond.)
8:19 am
Waiting for shuttle bus from commuter lot to stadium. Not crazy enough to try to find parking around there.
This is the sign that was at the shuttle stop. Someone had discarded a camera case near it.
8:57 am (As we were getting off the shuttle at the stadium)
Hey, it stopped raining!
8:59 am
No umbrellas allowed!
(This no-umbrella policy is not new for the stadium, and it had been posted on the commencement website, but obviously many people were still unware, as the area outside security was littered with discarded umbrellas, as well as bottles, snacks, and bags.)
9:32 am
Will have an excellent view of the back of the President's head
9:50 am
We have entertainment. Not sure if it's the glee club, choir, or what. They're pretty good.
(This was just before they broke into an acapella version of "Here I Go Again." Really. They WERE good, however -- and as I later discovered, apparently members of the theater department -- and other song choices weren't quite so ... disturbing.)
9:57 am
Helicopters over the stadium.
10:19 am
Now BIG, official looking helicopters.
10:21 am
Decided am hungry. In line for overpriced coke and bagel.
(I was in line for a good 20 minutes, during which time they ran out of a)breakfast sandwiches b) fruit cups and c) creamer, and by the time I got back to my seat commencement had started.)
11:06 am
Jumbotron showing clips of various presidents speaking at U-M. big cheers for Ford and Clinton. Not so much for Bush the 1st.
(I spent some time actually listening to the speeches and being impressed by them. The student speaker in particular was fantastic.)
11:48 am
I can't even believe I am sitting here listening to the freaking PRESIDENT.
11:53 am
Wow.
11:57 am
He's down there somewhere...
11:58 am
Obama: historical perspective. Lincoln, TR, Johnson. Social programs not historically partisan.
(This is about 15 minutes into the speech, when I shook myself out of dazed stupor to remember I was supposed to be live-tweeting. Politics aside, it's remarkable how the guy can hold a crowd of 90,000 people spellbound.)
12:01 pm
Maintain basic level of civility in public debate -- much applause.
(Apparently the President doesn't want me to call them crazy right-wing nutballs. Oops.)
12:07 pm
If you only read NYT, try Wall St Jrn. If you're a fan of Glenn Beck, try reading HuffPo. Expose yourself to variety of opinions.
(Preaching to the choir in this setting, unfortunately. The people who need to hear this message most likely aren't going to listen to this speech.)
12:09 pm
Poisonous political atmosphere discourages people from getting involved. Need fresh blood in D.C.
12:10 pm
Quoting Kennedy's peace corps speech in AA 50 years ago.
(Link added upon reposting here, obviously.)
12:14 pm
Bunch of people leaving now. Rude!
12:39 pm.
"Please stay in your seat. We will let you know when the President has left and you can leave." Hah!
(And this is how well people listened to the announcements)
12:49 pm
Lots of people left as soon as Obama finished his speech. Seriously seriously obnoxious.
(Come on, people, even if you came to hear Obama: it's a GRADUATION. You should at least stay until people, ya know, GRADUATE.)
12:54 pm
And NOW the sun comes out.
Occurred to me this is more fodder for my crazy-right-wing "God doesn't want Obama to speak at U-M" theory: this was almost literally the minute after Marine One and Two flew over the stadium and away.)
And that was my morning with the President. Me and approximately 92,000 other people.
Obama's speech at University of Michigan Commencement
Rather than trying to recap the experience now in some kind of coherent textural fashion, I'm going to paste in my stream-of-consciousness tweets from the day, with commentary.
6:40 am
It's pouring rain, thunder and lightning. Oh yay.
(My alarm went off at 6:30, but I'd woken up already to the incredibly loud thunder. Debating whether to go sit in a giant metal box in the middle of an electrical storm was worth the chance of seeing the President. Maybe not.)
6:45 am
If I were a narrow-minded conservative religious nut, I'd say that God doesn't approve of Obama giving the U-M commencement speech.
(As thunder and lightning continue, and the rain comes pouring down, and I haven't showered yet because when I was a kid my mom made me terrified of taking a shower during a thunderstorm.)
7:18 am
Ok, i know it's pouring and all, but why are there actual DUCKS in my front yard?
(This has nothing to do with commencement, but there were, and I thought it was funny. I do NOT live near a pond.)
8:19 am
Waiting for shuttle bus from commuter lot to stadium. Not crazy enough to try to find parking around there.
This is the sign that was at the shuttle stop. Someone had discarded a camera case near it.
8:57 am (As we were getting off the shuttle at the stadium)
Hey, it stopped raining!
8:59 am
No umbrellas allowed!
(This no-umbrella policy is not new for the stadium, and it had been posted on the commencement website, but obviously many people were still unware, as the area outside security was littered with discarded umbrellas, as well as bottles, snacks, and bags.)
9:32 am
Will have an excellent view of the back of the President's head
9:50 am
We have entertainment. Not sure if it's the glee club, choir, or what. They're pretty good.
(This was just before they broke into an acapella version of "Here I Go Again." Really. They WERE good, however -- and as I later discovered, apparently members of the theater department -- and other song choices weren't quite so ... disturbing.)
9:57 am
Helicopters over the stadium.
10:19 am
Now BIG, official looking helicopters.
10:21 am
Decided am hungry. In line for overpriced coke and bagel.
(I was in line for a good 20 minutes, during which time they ran out of a)breakfast sandwiches b) fruit cups and c) creamer, and by the time I got back to my seat commencement had started.)
11:06 am
Jumbotron showing clips of various presidents speaking at U-M. big cheers for Ford and Clinton. Not so much for Bush the 1st.
(I spent some time actually listening to the speeches and being impressed by them. The student speaker in particular was fantastic.)
11:48 am
I can't even believe I am sitting here listening to the freaking PRESIDENT.
11:53 am
Wow.
11:57 am
He's down there somewhere...
11:58 am
Obama: historical perspective. Lincoln, TR, Johnson. Social programs not historically partisan.
(This is about 15 minutes into the speech, when I shook myself out of dazed stupor to remember I was supposed to be live-tweeting. Politics aside, it's remarkable how the guy can hold a crowd of 90,000 people spellbound.)
12:01 pm
Maintain basic level of civility in public debate -- much applause.
(Apparently the President doesn't want me to call them crazy right-wing nutballs. Oops.)
12:07 pm
If you only read NYT, try Wall St Jrn. If you're a fan of Glenn Beck, try reading HuffPo. Expose yourself to variety of opinions.
(Preaching to the choir in this setting, unfortunately. The people who need to hear this message most likely aren't going to listen to this speech.)
12:09 pm
Poisonous political atmosphere discourages people from getting involved. Need fresh blood in D.C.
12:10 pm
Quoting Kennedy's peace corps speech in AA 50 years ago.
(Link added upon reposting here, obviously.)
12:14 pm
Bunch of people leaving now. Rude!
12:39 pm.
"Please stay in your seat. We will let you know when the President has left and you can leave." Hah!
12:49 pm
Lots of people left as soon as Obama finished his speech. Seriously seriously obnoxious.
(Come on, people, even if you came to hear Obama: it's a GRADUATION. You should at least stay until people, ya know, GRADUATE.)
12:54 pm
And NOW the sun comes out.
Occurred to me this is more fodder for my crazy-right-wing "God doesn't want Obama to speak at U-M" theory: this was almost literally the minute after Marine One and Two flew over the stadium and away.)
And that was my morning with the President. Me and approximately 92,000 other people.
29 April 2010
my 15 minutes
Well, and why NOT use my first post for a little blatant self-promotion?
Regresty Art Auction at Housing Works
See the little crocheted wangs the chick is gleefully holding in the first picture? The same crochet penii referred to (twice!) in the article? Yeah, I made those.
They are also featured in the book Regretsy: Where DIY Meets WTF. Which is how they ended up part of the Housing Works charity auction as well.
http://naughtyhook.etsy.com
I never dreamed that my 15 minutes of internet fame would be via crocheted genitalia, but I'll take whatever I can get.
Regresty Art Auction at Housing Works
See the little crocheted wangs the chick is gleefully holding in the first picture? The same crochet penii referred to (twice!) in the article? Yeah, I made those.
They are also featured in the book Regretsy: Where DIY Meets WTF. Which is how they ended up part of the Housing Works charity auction as well.
http://naughtyhook.etsy.com
I never dreamed that my 15 minutes of internet fame would be via crocheted genitalia, but I'll take whatever I can get.
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