22 February 2011

Eat your veggies, and maybe you'll meet a nice boy (imported post)

So I go out on dates, and once in a while they go well, and once in a while they go like this: Oh, this was fun, we'll have to do it again sometime. (Subtext: I'm never going to see you again and I'm ok with that.)

And then almost never, they go like that and then I get an email a few days later that goes like THIS:

"I had fun ... but I'm having a hard time figuring you out. I get some energy off you that is less than positive."

Oh and also ...
You have some very fine female attributes ... I am, however, having a great amount of strife with your belly...sorry, I think that honesty is the best policy. Of course, you know that I am looking for somebody to [do various athletic-type physical activities with]. All things considered, I'd hang with ya again if you'd want to after swallowing a dose of my honesty.
Allow me to reinterpret:
I think you're kind of sarcastic and mean, and even though you do have boobs you're a little fat, but on the off chance your self-esteem is low enough after my telling you this that you might have sex with me, let's go out again.
I should have ignored it. Even as I was responding, I knew I should not, but I did anyway.
I do think honesty is generally the best policy, and good for you for knowing what you are and aren't ok with. That said, "all things considered" I can't see getting together again knowing that you apparently are judging my appearance in a not so complimentary way. I like my body. It's done well by me, despite not being perfect, and it's a better use of my time seeking out people who are good with that than hanging out with people who aren't. Sorry.
You would think that would be the end of it. But NO.
Dear Jen,
I am so sorry for the crude way that I had put things. I was at work and writing between customers and doing my best to put my thoughts together without sounding mean.
(I'm so glad he was doing his best not to sound mean.)
Your appearance is fine. Like I said before, you have wonderful lady parts. The belly statement was meant to be more of an issue that I can foresee regarding having different energy levels (hiking, yoga, kayaking stuff) and different takes on health. I'm glad that you are comfortable with your body, but as someone that has some outside concerns about your health and future well-being (you and your children are a part of the community for which we share), I think that you should know that you should not not be slightly alarmed. Do you consume a lot of refined sugars (high-fructose corn syrup), juice or pop? These things have only but recently been introduced to human consumption (in the evolutionary scheme of things) and will really wreak havoc on the body. This is why there has been such a spike in pancreatic cancer in recent years (amongst many other things). I just hope that you consider eating more fruit and  veggies. You can never  eat too much fruit in its natural, unconcentrated state. Its full of good stuff and sugars that our bodies known how to process since we  swung from tree to tree. I don't mean to preach but I can see the stress in you.
Wishing you the best,
My appearance is fine! Phew! My self-esteem is not shattered after all! He's just concerned! About my health! After meeting me ONCE! On the basis of absolutely no information whatsoever about my eating habits or activity level!
Dear R,
WOW! I really have to thank you for the information, because I had NO IDEA that high fructose corn syrup is unhealthy. And pop is bad for you?It might never have occurred to me to eat more fruits and vegetables if you hadn't mentioned it. I'm eternally grateful. Let's have sex. 
I haven't heard back. Either he did pick up on THAT bit of sarcasm, or he doesn't actually want to have sex, but totally thinks he did his good deed for the week.


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