30 May 2011

Two is Enough (imported post)

Today we went to the movies. Last night I promised the girls if they got along and didn't fight for the entire evening we could go today, and indeed, they managed to be civil for three whole hours until bedtime, so we observed Memorial Day by celebrating our freedom to pay exorbitant prices for inferior popcorn. We were waffling between "Rio" and "Kung Fu Panda 2" but then fortunately I got the word from some of my friends who are also parents that KFP2 would not be a good choice for Mimi right now.

(Side note: Dear Hollywood, could we effing PLEASE have a kid's movie not rife with abandonment/adoptee issues on some level? PLEASE? Because they turned up in Rio, too, although not as central, and really, I am tired of my kids asking what happened to various characters' parents every time we watch a movie.)

In the car on the way to the movie, I try to prepare the girls for the fact that there might be some sad bits about the birds being away from the home and family. This leads, as many topics do in our family, to a discussion of adoption in general, and the now-standard reiteration from Mimi that "I was adopted, but [Boo] wasn't." (She likes to make sure no one forgets this.) And then Mimi says, "because she grew in your stomach!" And I remind them that babies don't grow in stomachs, but in a place called the uterus which is *just* for growing babies. Then Mimi remembers that sometimes people have TWO babies at the same time, which is called twins, and sometimes even three, and what's that called again? Oh yeah, triplets.

And then the conversation goes to an interesting place, because Mimi tells us "sometimes people have one baby, and sometimes they have two or three. And sometimes they have to give one away because they are only allowed to have one or maybe two. And that's not fair, because it's not their fault! They can't control it if the uterus makes more than one baby! They can't even help it!"

And I'm sad, but also impressed at her logic and how she's processed that, and also kind of laughing (although not so as Mimi would notice because can't have her think I'm laughing AT her) because the image of an out-of-control uterus is fairly amusing. Mimi and Boo are having a conversation now they have completely shut me out of, about how sometimes people are poor or there are too many of them and they can't take care of their babies, and they are sad and they miss the babies and the babies are sad and miss the mommies and daddies, and I'm pleased that there seems to be some non-traumatic understanding of the things we've talked about. I love to listen to them explain things to each other; it's the only way I'm ever really sure they actually listen to me.

The conversation moves on to how some people don't ever have babies, which is also great because I am totally indoctrinating them in how some people choose to get married and have children, some people have children and don't get married, some people don't have children, all choices are valid, etc. etc. Which is something my kids have embraced whole-heartedly, so if I do nothing else right as a parent at least they will always know they can marry or not marry whoever the hell they want, and have kids or not have kids.

Anyway. Mimi caps this just as we get to the movie theater by declaring, "and Mom still has a uterus, but she's not using it anymore because two kids is ENOUGH."  Pause. "Right, Mom?"

Right. Definitely right, for us.

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